When it comes to sneakers and shoes, I'm a pretty simple person. I have a minimal amount of pairs. I bought a nice pair of shoes the other days to have something a little nicer than sneakers to wear with jeans. I've worn them a bunch of times, but not enough to have completely broken them in. I wore them the whole day yesterday, but by the time I got to the mall to go shopping with my sister my feet were pretty cut up. We went to CVS to buy some padding for the shoes to minimize the hurt, but when I took my shoes off in the mall and put in the padding, I couldn't get the shoes back on. The padding instructions said I had to let it settle for 15 minutes and I didn't have a shoehorn to get the shoes back on. So instead of waiting and messing up my feet even more, my sister encouraged me to go with her to Foot Locker and pick up some new sneakers. So I walked through a 3.4 million-square-foot mall in a pair of socks. No one noticed, but it was pretty funny [and comfortable]. One of my favorite moments was when we pasted a cart that was selling silly character foot slippers. I ended surviving an escalator ride on the way to Foot Locker. Pretty exciting stuff, eh? I'm a wild guy.

My sister told me that I now have an idea what it feels like to be her because she always has new [uncomfortable] shoes. My suggestion to her: stop buying so much shoes, fool.